As background, Happy sometimes jumps and grabs at members of the family in the yard. Pushing and playing tug where he wins has been hugely helpful, but still once in a while there was a trigger and I remained confused as to what it was, it seemed to be inconsistent.

Yesterday I threw his toy and he looked at it and looked back at me with that *look* in his eye, so I knew that he was going into overload…he didn’t, I pushed a bit for a few bites of food and he was fine, but it hit me what may have triggered him–the toy (or rather, I) was going too far away too fast, and it made him nervous. In thinking back, that is something that every other instance of this happening has in common – someone (usually me, but also sometimes my husband) moving away or out of sight and he gets nervous. In some cases, he gets absorbed into something he’s doing and stops paying attention to me for a moment, and when he looks I’m either moving away or have moved out of sight to do something nearby, and he comes bolting over but is also overloaded from that nervousness of me being too far away (or being in the place he remembers, then not there?) In other cases, multiple family members are in the yard, and we disperse in different directions – specifically I go off in a different direction while he is busy with someone else, and he looks, sees me, and jump/grabs at the person next to him.

I never see this on the leash (although when I initially posted about this at the end of the driveway he would do it, but not anymore, we have an excellent time on all of our “hunting” expeditions…back then I would sometimes drop the leash in the driveway and run with him to the house, now I lead him all the way to the house where he knows a super yummy bone is waiting).

We also did GREAT with the cows today. They were very close, looking at us…I asked him to look at me while we walked by the cows, instead of looking at them, but we kept moving. He was surprised when we were past them! He did it on his own on the way back, so he must’ve liked it. He was very loose and relaxed on the way back, it was obvious how proud he was. The cows must also have good ability to sense energy, because on the way back they barely glanced up at us.

In the back of my mind I was afraid that my huge dog would be aggressive and harm my kids. But I can see that being safety-conscious is different than being fearful, and I think I can release the fear emotion (or at least notice when I am feeling it) rather than ignoring it and letting it run the show.

In the case of dogs that are rescued (change owners) that have behaviors that preexisted their current human, does that complicate things?

My dog Happy and I (and the rest of the family) are doing very well these past few days. We did have to put a lid on the jumping/biting for a few days, but we stopped putting him in overstimulating play situations that were beyond his ability to cope with. He is more relaxed now and easier to redirect to safe outlets when he does get charged up. What he seems to do on his own when he has energy to release is to find something to tug on. So I think that tugging will be a game he will enjoy once we all relearn it together.

He’s such a smart, sweet dog. I hope I don’t screw him up!

Thank you again too, for helping all the rest of us out with a few more nuggets of wisdom allowing us not to be too hard on ourselves.

I remember, after reading your book for the first time, I felt like, Wow! How many things can one possibly do wrong? I have to be perfect all the time. How is that even possible? Then, one day, after finally having purchased the new edition of the book, it fell open to the last paragraph in ‘Note to the reader’ section. For those who haven’t read it, or have the older version of the book, here are a few of my heavily underlined sentences, which I hope Kevin doesn’t mind me sharing.

“A reader is likely to take away the idea that they must never, ever stress their dog; that they must be technically perfect in how they handle and raise their pet or they will corrupt it’s capacity to perform and to be a devoted companion… What I was trying to say: is that by working with the dog’s prey instinct, we can turn stress into drive energy and, in this way, stress isn’t bad. Stress is not only unavoidable–which means that it’s pointless to worry about whether or not the dog is being stressed–but it is also necessary as a means of intensifying behavior so that energy builds up within the individual so that it’s ‘pressurized’ and capable of taking on a challenge… They need energy to channel their drive to the path of highest resistance and stress is where this energy comes from… The one question to always have in mind so as to be guided properly is whether one has built a firm foundation on which the dog can successfully turn stress into drive.”

I read, and re-read this all the time. It makes me not worry about things as much. Last night, in the blank space below and beside the above quotes, I was able to add a couple more:

“Temperament channels energy in a many-splendored way, but all these varieties are still the same energy, simply refracted into an infinite range of expressions. Because love is consciousness (and I believe its root source), and because consciousness is energy that reflects back on itself, each dog perfectly reflects its owner and thus the potential for a varied range of expressions is as unlimited as each human being is unique.”

“The most loving way to raise and train a dog is to not expose them to situations their temperament has not yet evolved a capacity to handle. But it’s okay to make mistakes because you don’t have to be perfect to deserve unconditional love, and dogs are here to teach us how to be better humans, we’re not here to teach them how to be better dogs.”

“When we see people that have an amazing training rapport with their dog, it’s because the basic template of trust/understanding has evolved into more and more complex expressions of turning energy into information. It’s to be admired but it isn’t by its nature any more special than a homeless person begging on the street with their faithful dog lying nearby or a person whose dog infallibly reflects their deepest fears into so called “problem behavior.”

“There isn’t an ideal we need to aspire to. Every individual has a unique “flaw” which is how new energy gets into the system. So if we accept that our unique relationship with our dog is as special as it can be, as flawed as it may be, and are then truthful about our reflection in our dog, that’s ideal.”

Again Kevin, I’d like to thank you for not only the wisdom you share, but, also, the time you take to help us all understand Why dogs do what they do, and how best to align with that and create a group harmony that works for us, and most importantly for our Canine companions.

Selah!

CR: so a dog never does what THEY need ? or would that coincide with what we need ? in a way that is guided by the universe, god or something like that ?
a lot of dog trainers have said that dogs are opportunists who mostly do what THEY need…

(KB–12/14) Love cannot be conditioned as it’s a force of nature.

CR : I have to admit this is confusing to me.
you are saying though – a dog’s trust is conditional…based on familiarity and being loved back and probably other factors ?

I think dogs can be spiteful, wilful and opportunistic…also creative problem-solvers and survival experts. can they hate ? I have been told they can think, and reason to a limited degree…my intuition says, dogs can hate, but I have to admit I have not seen it.

It seemed so from the owner’s description in the book, he wrote the hate was visible in the dog’s “evil” eyes. The owner did not mind too much that this dog did not relate to him in any positive way whatsoever…although he got bit a lot, when he put the dog in harness – he just let the dog be as you suggested, as dictated by this dog’s apparent nature…this seems very generous on the owner’s part, he obviously embraced his own evil aspects, if this dog is another reflection of the owner’s self.

the function of fear, I see it at its most elemental as a survival instinct,

which is why I think my 2 northern breed dogs do a lot of fearful recoiling, whereas my border collie is completely fearless, I think because the northern breeds have WILD blood in them, border collies have been “domesticated” for centuries…

…when i feel fear I can sense that it helps me survive…

love helps me stay strong inside to go on despite problems

I think dogs manifest this strength of love in a way by being indomitable, by loving life, usually almost to their dying breath, they are active and moving forward.

it is funny I always want to do something unique with my dogs, prompt them to do something according to their nature…even if it is flawed…whereas it appears most of the people in my dog class just want to complete the exercises set by the trainer to the trainer’s satisfaction…